End of quite a year

The sun comes up

On this last day of a year of challenges 

Lessons learned

Tears shed 

Hugs given and received

And love sustaining

Through it all

Small but satisfying

Rich strong and satisfying 

Especially the whipped cream 

Even small things can really be 

A tonic for tired souls 

Demons small and large

Be GONE demons of doubt and depression.
You have no sway here.
We will keep on keeping on and find our smiles along the way.
The support of friends, family and the community are stronger than your scary self.
I will channel my inner "sasha fierce" and keep up the good fight.

Vintage

 

I'm not sure if it's a function of age

Or a reflection of the last few difficult years

But I find myself looking back a lot

Seemingly simpler times

More time for self, friends, family, reflection.

I think in order to move things forward, I'm going to need to set my sights more firmly in the future

Of course that doesn't mean any change to my retro style

Just need to put aside retro thinking

My Mt Difficulty

What a week it has been. 

Deep downs 

High hills to climb 

Disappointing and difficult

And sometimes delicious 

Old stories old friends

Sometimes the old stories

Like old friends 

Are the best, the most comfortable

The most relaxing

To come home to. 

surprising source

Sanity and sustaining strength
flowing from grand gifts
and new friends
Family to care for us
at each  bend in the stream
until we arrive to gorgeous dark
and dreamy skies.

Chillin

It's a work day

But...

Really can't complain! 

Selling BBQ in this place 

Is quite the combination 

Of work and not 

life is delicious

Sometimes the most difficult days and seasons
end in the most delicious ways.
Perfect bites and reflections.
New friends and opportunities.

Evening Glow

 The summer is winding down
still hot but the evening cool glow
makes me know that change is in the air.

We have so much to do.
Thank goodness fall energy is
flowing back to me!

I feel more motivated with each
lovely transitional Sunset.

chin up!

Trying hard to not be discouraged.
But also feeling a bit down in the mouth.
Lots to do. and Hopefully some things will break our way soon.
until then. Keeping on!

Swinging

Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith.

Sometimes you have to grab a vine and swing from tree to tree.

Sometimes the only way from here to there is by doing something unexpected.

Time to hang on and see where we go to next. 

Dog Days

It's hot.
We are really feeling it.
And there is not much else to say...

Dreamscape

I can go here in my mind any time and visit
with my husband, my grandmother, my mother, my own childhood,
the seagulls and shells, and my wild spirit.
Cares and worries wash out to sea.
And quite thoughts and dreams come and visit.
I let them join me on my beach blanket, and we
have a peaceful conversation.
 Each memory a treasure, each new chance a revelation.

Ready to Write it Out

There are all kinds of words
bumping into each other and swirling around in my brain.
I feel something is dropping into place though
and they are almost ready to come out
almost ready to line up
in straight rows and outlines
and make some damn sense
not quite ready but almost.

Not always what you think...

Sometimes the best way to move forward
is to stop, close your eyes
and nap a bit. To Recharge and
Perchance to dream.

Losing your way

Sometimes I just want to get lost 
in my thoughts
in the woods
in the big wide world. 
Being lost and then getting found.
Very satisfying.

time speeding by

So much happens in a year.
Lives change. Beginnings and endings.
The world looks different than this time one year ago.
Things were put in motion that are vibrating, shaking and grinding
into my life now.
I am pausing to wonder what it will all look like
another year from now.

making up your mind

 

 Choose a path.

Point your nose in that direction

and go. 

You won't know about the journey or the destination

until you leave and head off 

somewhere. 

Sketches of a Plan

It

It's important to take time to do something I love
to create to share and to refuel.
I am going to see my way through
all of this chaos and confusion.
One small moment at a time.
Sketching out a plan, filling in the details.
Learning and growing on the way.

Crystal but Not Yet Clear

The view is not especially clear
but I can see some things I like.
It is going to be hard to line it up, and make it work
But I feel like it would be worth it.
Finally to make things make sense
and make them sustainable.

The Lily Year

If the first year is paper, and the 5th year is wood,
then the 16th year is memories of jars of star gazer lilies
intoxicating smells welcoming me home, and
soft shadows of green trees on the wall and winter walks with hot wine.
And wishing wells full of the coins of future dreams,
all in a rich velvet album in my mind.

The View

Sometimes, you have to just sit back and feel the wow of it all
the days might be hard and a bit long
and the struggle is not always satisfying
but the view from this life
is amazing in big ways
and in small ones too.

Moments of Waiting

Sometimes I just feel like
I am waiting
for something to happen.
And I am not sure what I expect it to be.
But I try to enjoy the sunshine
while I wait. 

Tug of War

The pull between
the possible and the practical is a constant
in my life these last 4 months.
What Can I do? What Must I do? What do I Want to do.
These questions push and pull at eachother
every day. And most nights too.

Hmmmm...

Sometimes we are just
extremely skeptical
about how it will
all turn out.

Down to the Lace and Fried Foods

I love watching an event come together
and then feeling the buzz in a room full
of enjoyment.
Sometimes it is my own show
and sometimes someone else's
but my pride and enjoyment
are strong just the same.
Last night was fun,
and filled with good people
taking on a huge task
and doing it to perfection.
Including lace curtains, checkered cloths
and perfectly fried fish and chips.
God Save the Queen.

Impossible Spring Planning

The weather is so changeable
Hot and sunny one day- cold and grey the next
it makes it hard to plan
event to choose an outfit for the day.
Put away the blankets and sweaters or no?
New projects moving in fits and starts.
While we wait for the spring storms to clear
and things to make more sense.
It is all a metaphor, of course.
These days what isn't?

Pushing Piles of Paper

Instead of pushing piles of paper around,
and carrying them from work to home to work again.
Today, thankfully, I have a cheerful helper.
Sorted, stashing, and smiling her way
through my mess!
The smiling is the BEST part!

A Closer Look

Sometimes you have to look closely
to find the beauty and the peace.
Sadness today in Boston.
Stressful life anyway.
But still there was Cheshire cat moon
peeking from amid the cherry blossoms last evening.
And remembering simple things
like that can make a difference.

Fragile Moods

 It does not take much.
Some flowers and sunshine
on the porch, to lighten the load.
Good small reminders
that roots are long, flowers are to
be stopped and sniffed at.
and that the seasons turn and
things do not remain either as good or as bad
as they might be today.

Soul Sunshine

I need a deep soak in some soul sunshine
sticky joy for repairs and sticking together the broken parts.
I need quiet and time and calm moments with
no expectations and no legal tender.
Just a sunny patch of peace and maybe even a little prosperity.
Ending months of stress and disappointment.
But seems like it is not yet to be.
Just need to grab little bits of beauty where I find them
And keep my strength up.

sunshine makes all the difference

The weather is everything sometimes.
not much has changed, but today
the sun helped
bake a little joy into
the mix

One Armed Woman

It's like not being able to connect the dots or finish a sentence
relying as I do on my help in this foreign place.
after 16 years. I can write my name.
And I can understand what is going on.
But I can't talk about it.
And I get less and less done.
beyond frustrated.

Global Nomads

We call ourselves, and revel when we can
in being global nomads.
Open to the world.
For now just in dreams and wishes and fantasies.
But it is a small bright light.
Knowing that we will roam again.
And see amazing things.
Or just sit, and watch and drink
strong tea. And smile at people.

Gambatte

Gambatte =
Keep a stiff upper lip.
What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger.
Soldier on.
If at first you don't succeed, try try again.
Get back on the horse.
And so it goes.

Uphill, both ways...

I am trying, honestly.
But it needs to get a wee bit easier.
please.
(just a little bit easier - would help a lot)

Playing

We all learn from playing
and meeting
and talking
and then playing some more.
Some of our teachers are bigger, older, wiser.
Some are smaller, younger and they remind us to be silly.
Best path is to be open to all of it.

Roots

Thank goodness for deep roots.
Across countries and oceans,
miles and years, friends and their friends.
I am so supported, and my drive and desire
is to support others as soon as I am able.
One leaf and branch and planter at a time.

Strange is in the eye of the beholder

Some days I don't event notice
Some days life just looks a little strange
where ever I gaze.
Something is just a bit odd about
my life here.
Even in the best of times.
Which this certainly is not.

Preparing

It is not warm enough yet.

But that does not stop me from wishing it were so.

Getting ready 

for what I hope is a much 

much much

better spring. 

 

Seems like just yesterday

I'm amazed that some things seem like they both
were just yesterday and
also seem to be ages ago.
Time is not so fixed and concrete
as it seems that it should be.
the last 16 years
in a heartbeat.

Soaking in Some Sun

Important to stop and notice
that the sun is shining
and it warms up our bones
our ideas
our dreams.
Winter doesn't last forever.
And I notice that the sun feels warmer
when it is cold outside.

Please, be mine.

Oh, dear life,
Please be my valentine.
Let's kiss and make up.
Enough of this sadness and fighting.
Instead we can have big, sweet, sticky
times together again.
(With powdered sugar)

It's All Relative

There are tough jobs
and trying days
and stress.
But then there is what this guy
has to deal with everyday.
Important to
keep perspective.

Wishing it were so...

Wishing that all the parts
of my work
could be as fun as planning
cool stuff with
other people.

Simplest

What I need now are the cleanest
most simple solutions.
With little drama, and even less
complication.
Just like a cold clear
winter day.

Plans and Lists and more Plans

Lists and plans
going in many directions
planning and fixing and doing and changing
and mostly
working and hoping.
New direction needed.

Exercising Demons

My Demons. 
The repeat factor of dealing with the same stresses
over and over again.
The same things I am not good at.
Keep coming back to bite me in the butt.
Time to break the chain.
grrrrr

Perspectiv-ity

It is all a matter of
hurly burly swirly vertigo-inspiring
perspective.
Walking a tightrope wire of
choices and ideas.
What comes first?
What comes last? 
And where do all the in between roads go?