Roughness

January was a month of rough
and craggy edges. Bumps and ugly wounds
But learning - Oh! the learning.

Eliot and Coffee Spoons

More ways to mark time
"Afternoons will be measured out
Measured out, measured with
Coffeespoons and T.S. Eliot"
fitfully and in stops and starts
this four weeks has been
so long. 

Little Things

On Mondays, (especially.)
I am grateful for tea.
An almost endless supply
of comfort and energy.

Winding and Climbing

Sometimes the upward climb seems endless and
the destination becomes obscured in the effort.
I am waiting for my second (third, fourth, fifth) wind.
Trying to find my inner reserve to keep climbing.
And hope it makes sense somewhere up there.

Marking Time

There are lots of ways to mark time
going in circles.
swinging back and forth.
Counting days and hours, or just letting them slide past.
It seems forever and just seconds ago all at the same time.
This has been a long four weeks.
And yet the time is getting away from me.

Temptation

As tempting as it is.
when I bury my head- the drama
sadly does not disappear.
So I have to keep picking up
and keep carrying on
and keep it all going.

The muddy, messy way forward

 It's all pretty muddy right now.
But there are little spots of clarity and reflection here and there.
And the path, though messy becomes more clear.
Now we need to try to take steps
without getting stuck. 

what to do...

A good thing to do when you are brain tired and heart weary
is sleep it off. After some junk food and indulgent entertainment.
Then pick up and start again tomorrow.

Age Old Sayings

It's pretty dark, just before dawn,
so I can see where the adage comes from.
Darkest just before it gets light... and all that.
Still it doesn't make the darker times feel any better.
The Darkness is temporary- but that doesn't make
it easier to see.
2013 is stretching out before me.
In a big messy pile of uncertainty.

Great Expecations Notwithstanding

Feeling discouraged
life is not behaving properly
and mostly everything is not working out
the way I thought it would.
nuf, said
Hopefully things will make sense soon.

As the year ends.

the christmas rush is in the past.
We are home for the quiet of a big city largely empty.
New years in Japan is a cleaning out, thoughtful, peaceful holiday.
A time to pause and consider.
There is much considering to do.
There is also much tea drinking, and doggie snuggling, and loitering and
lazing around to do. While I think about the future.

Home for the Holidays

Tap dancing santas, and baking
and food
and family and
by the way palm trees- but
There is snow on the cabinet top.
Makes dreams of a white christmas
come true.
And all the love makes it
all cozy anyway.

Wintery Heart

Feeling clear, cold and blue.
Just like a December morning in Tokyo.
The detachment is helpful in the chaos.

Winding Down

Final bursts of color

and lights 

and yellow and brown leaves 

as we wind down this 

very

very

very 

interesting year. 

It has been a year of moving, and changes

and passion and collapse

and so much more. 

I feel a need for some quiet thinking 

and pondering what is next.

Holiday Tea Time

the only thing better than delicious, strong, hot, tea with milk and sugar
is that same tea all dressed up for christmas-
with carols
and lights
and sweet things
and dreams
and old ornaments
and older movies
and friends
and family
and presents with bows
and some without
figgy pudding, goose, cheese plates, family await

Lounging

Sometimes you need to lounge on red velvet
to try to feel fabulous.
It doesn't always work.
But it helps.
In fact when feeling fabulous is difficult
I recommend flashes of luxury
wherever you find them.

Dreaming time

Sun and moon rises,
and so much to do between each one
as the days to this year
are rushing down to the final hours.
Trying to find some dreaming time-
To think about what comes next.

Sign of the times...

sometimes it is just all a scattered mess.
oh, and by the way- it's been raining
all day.

giving thanks, 2012 version.

It's that time again.
Thankful that we are here.
Celebrating with each other and others and more others.
Making tons of turkeys and sharing the love
oh and the mashed potatoes.
pie too, don't forget the pie.

pulled and pushed

Things are more than a bit out of control.
pulled like crazy in too many directions and making mistakes
for everyone
behind, on everything
and just trying to hang on.