SNOW DAY!

the stars were alined and I had nothing planned today except working from ohome-- and then it snowed!!! guilt free snow day. Sitting and watching it come down while I work on the internet and plan and update calendars etc. Being able to do most banking from home and most communications from home. I think I really am moving into the post PC world. Out of the office but still productive. AND I can sit in comfort on my couch and work like a fiend.

I really want to spend some time thinking and putting into perspective recent turns in my life. But for now a few notes of things I am using in this new world.

http://www.750.com for morning pages
loads of iphone and ipad apps for organizing and communicating
simple note for idea capture

more that I will share as I go along. This is just a quick snow day update.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Mind Bumping My Writers' Block and Singing a Merry Tune

suggested by Testube

"Describe your most embarrassing musical purchase. What's hidden in your skeleton CD rack?"

Illustration on the left by Deborah Champion / Buy this print or others by her at ETSY

With starting my daily morning pages on 750.com I have had trouble thinking of what to write over here on my blog. which was one of my goals this year- better blog upkeep. Plus I would like to write more about something other than worries about money and my company. I would like to touch on other parts of life- here at the fancy glass. Start writing more general food and life posts again. So today I am experimenting with MINDBUMP, blogging ideas suggested by fellow bloggers. A community generated prompt that gets and gives at the same time. Will see what I think... have to try a few times.

So today's is above... I have to say I am not embarrassed by my music. I know it is not for everyone but I love that about life. I guess I get a little embarrassed about my love for Christmas music since everyone groans and rolls there eyes when I start listening to it 24/7 basically right after thanksgiving. But I do LOVE it. It sets the tone for my holiday time of year. I wish more artists would release Christmas albums. I really can't get enough. I was thrilled this year to buy the GLEE Christmas cd. Too funny. And I have to say I loved most of the songs on it.

I feel we have lost something when the mixed tap/ and cd faded into the past. making a theme list to give to someone was a great interactive and sharing experience. I got some great ones from friends and some other that I simply did not like and couldn't listen to, but it was fun all the same. I know you can make a playlist now, but seriously it is not the same. With my love of winter seasonal music maybe one thing i should do is make a mix for each season or each month, reflecting the time of year, what needs doing and what needs letting go. I also want to download some new stuff- things I don't know so well. But embarrassed? Never! I love my music and it is after all for me, so why be embarrassed. The quirky-ier the better I say!

Form Follows Function

I have a lot of plans, dreams, micro projects, huge projects, hopeful projects all competeing for my limited resources. I am sure many other women (and men) struggle with the same dilemma. This year I feel slower- sluggish and prone to escape into myself. I think it is just a feature of overwhelm and something that I can conquer if I just use some of the tools and thinking I have done to move things step by step.

I want to focus on making the restaurant the best it can be. But I am split many ways. I think it is time to start a more regular weekly plan of what needs doing and when I will be in Kimono to get those things done. Perhaps it is partly Feb. blues too. I get hit by those- but this year Jan. was pretty stalled in some ways too. I need to be clear with myself about what I want. I have never struggled with who I am and who I want to be- but sometimes I am caught in wanting too many things to happen all at once.

Plus having a puppy this year has been a constant joy but a real readjustment. more than any other dog or pet I had years ago- this one I feel the dependency both as a difficult daily task and a luscious loving obligation. I know my friends mostly have children- and Archie is just my dog. But a lot of the feelings of responsibility are similar if less serious.  In any case having him and a baby-business is a juggling show.

I need to decide my functions each morning and the form my actions need to take will follow.

Dreams and Plans

I started out 2011 expecting huge things and big turn arounds- instead it has been a rocky road- with little steps forward. Hard not to be impatient and frustrated, already worried this year is not going to be what i need it to. But in the world of Thoughts become Things- I need to find a good center and keep a positive attitude moving forward. I find the mornings are up up up full of promise and then I get low and crash- both from tiredness and over-expecting. I have to get back to

Clarity- Simplicity- Sustainability.

Think about what they mean to me, and How I want to manifest them this year.

I am in a mastermind group with 4 other Amazing ladies. And we each had a word for this year (forget that I really have 3). We shared them in our meeting on wednesday and one of the ladies put them all together in this manefesto!

"CLARITY leads to increased PRODUCTIVITY and the courage to LEAP into our BLISS and PROSPER."

I want to make this into a huge beautiful image of some kind and put it where I can see it throughout my day! Time to reset and refocus-yes again! I think this year is going to be about agains agains and agains until it sticks.

Soul Food

We are food people. Definitely. When we travel we talk a lot more about what we ate than what we saw.

Food is culture, family, love, tradition, and just a darn good experience that we get to have multiple times a day.

I wish more people would stop and think and take pleasure in what that put in their bodies. I wish they would think about it more. I try to. But in the modern world I know it is easy just to grab a prepackaged, lifeless box or bag of crap and mindlessly eat it while working overtime in front of our computers. It is worse than bad for your health, it is bad for your soul. Soulless food that gives nothing and takes everything.

In my little home, a weekend (and sometimes even weekday) morning celebration comes in the form of eggs. Egg sandwiches most often, but sometimes omletes, fried eggs (I like mine over easy) Scrambled or poached. On Saturday we have them at home while reading on the internets, on Sunday we have them at my restaurant as we get ready to make good food for other people too. It is a good thing. Good for the mind, body and yes the soul. Good food is a gift we owe ourselves and others.

PS- the recommended pairing for an egg sandwich? English breakfast tea, of course!

Out of Sorts

No particular reason. Just feeling out of sorts, at 6's and 7's, odds not evens, feeling tired and stressed and prickly. Even making tea did not set it right. Maybe something in the air today. ick. Seems to be a little bit of everything just knocking me on my butt. Tried to nap, no go. Feel dry and thin and stretched beyond the beyond. blah

Staying Focused

I have a lot of hopes, plans and dreams for 2011- but they will require a lot of focus and honesty and clarity with myself. I tend to let my unchecked optimism color my decisions but I have to temper this with realism. I plan to go over some tools, ideas, and my own writing in week 2 of 2011 and take stock. Lifehacker had a good post on making your resolutions really happen.

I am happy to have my Mantra for the year, and now I have to really make some concrete steps to getting things done and making it happen! Things are in place, it is time to go-go-go. These first 10 days of the year I have stalled a bit. Progressed on some big stuff, but still dragging on some other really important things.

Time to get back on the bandwagon. 

Small Steps and Little Celebrations

I have had this clock bugging me... battery was dying and there were no new ones in the house so consequently it has been getting slower and slower. It was the one right at the door that I look at all the time... but just never got around to fixing it.

until today.

This year is hopefully going to be all about getting things done, step by baby step. minute by minute.

My 2011 Mantra

 

Coming out of 2010 I decided I was going to follow in the footsteps of my friend and HRH Of Queen Sweeping I decided I was going to try to chose a word to live up to and define 2011. I wrote and searched and wrote some more and I decided that I am going to focus on 3 not 1. Kind of like a mantra of steps to move forward and out of the troubled times and into a more prosperous and strong future. 

Clarity, Simplicity and Sustainability. 

I am first going to be clear, crystal clear with myself and my closest and dearest. 

I am going to simplify and strengthen with each decsision and step forward.

And I am going to pursue courses of action that I can sustain and that can sustain me and those around me far into the future. 

It will certainly not be easy to put away rose colored glasses for the clear lenses needed right now- But it is past time for clarity. So Here we Go- 2011- I am going to face you full on. I am going to be clear about what I need to do, what I want and how it is going to look. I am going to simplfy and break down everything into to do-able steps and check them off a clean master list as I climb this next hill. And finally I am going to build a foundation for sustainable projects, process and life.

I will use this tripod approach to get stable and I will focus my lense with each choice I make.
And through it all, shiny, clean, 2011 -- you and I will become great friends. We will reach Dec. 2011 knowing that we have had good times, great adventures, and made smart choices together. We will toast the new year into 2012 knowing that this past 3 years of transition was worth it. And we will be ready for whatever comes next.

Onward.

At the Core of the Matter

Core Story - What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? - #reverb10

I think central to my interactions and being is community, starting groups, helping groups, meeting new people and providing opportunities for people to come together and do more as a group than they could have done alone. I like to think that my restaurant too is a place where people can come, be, and talk with friends and strangers who are destined to be new friends!

I am best when I can participate in these kinds of mutually helpful groups.

In 2010 one of the best ones that sprang up was our Small Biz Women's group. What an amazing and dynamic group of ladies. It thrills me to talk with them. Truly.

Also the hackerspace continues to be interesting though still difficult financially. Have to commit to find a way to keep that going and working in 2011. It is on the cusp of being sustainable as are so many of my 2010 projects- just need to push it to the next place.

Community and Mutual Support. Core values, and core experiences that help me thrive.

How do I share it? I try to look at how to help and how to help others help each other. I examine where people individually are and try to see where we can go as a group(s). I try to talk story- as they say in Hawaii. Share with people my own tale and ask them about theirs. Listening is key. I struggle with that at times but I think I have gotten better.

Maybe 2011 needs to be a year where I
1. write down my own story
2. share it
3. Listen to others key stories.
4. learning from those around me

lather-rinse-repeat.

I need more reflective time in the new year to look at where I have been, where I am going and staying true to my story. Time to learn about meditating...

The World To See and Friends to See it With!

Travel - How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year? - #reverb10

I am still finishing all these posts though we are already on 1/1/11 here in Japan. For me 2010 was a great year of travel. We went to South By Southwest in march, I had two DNC meetings one which included the SNOMAGGEDON, had a wonderful summer trip which included my 25th Class reunion. WOW I am getting so old. Went to San Francisco and had a pilgrimage to Alice Waters temple of food. Saw friends on that trip and had so much fun. Was awed by redwoods, and inspired in the Stanford Library. And ended the year seeing nieces and family that had been too far away for too long.

In 2011- I am hoping some long lost friends will come and see us in Japan. Also we are planning a return to Castellejos to bring in the new year NEXT year with any of our folks who want to come join us. We are also returning to SXSW and have some little jaunts planned in-between times. I am hoping to go spend some time in the attic at my mom's in Feb-March. Should be a good year.

Too many to name...

Gifts. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?- #reverb10

My gifts from those who love and support me were overwhelming this year. I struggle to deal with feeling unworthy of the generous hearts around me. Too many to name- too much help.

One thing that stood out was the constant support that my best friend and my husband both have given me to keep moving forward. I would not have such a happy terrific puppy in my life- if they hadn't been there to help take of him. And I think having a dog made a huge difference to my sanity this year.

Also so many friends helped me month to month. That gift stays with me each morning when I wake up and each night when I finally crash.

Always- having the best mom in the world is a gift I am grateful for EVERY years! 

Another huge gift brought to me in 2010 was getting back in touch with my father's sisters and brothers. I have not been in communication with my aunts and uncles for decades and having them back in my life- even if so far it is mostly through Facebook, has been a huge present!

SO I guess, mostly it is the people around me that are the true gifts of 2010. And I hope that stays true in 2011- because friends, family and strangers who will become new friends are so much more important than things.

Precipice

Defining Moment - Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year.- #reverb10

Another hard prompt to pin down... I guess the one was the recent advice I got from a good friend and adviser. It will involve a lot of "stuff" in the coming months and set me on paths I did not know I would be headed down. It is also taking several leaps of faith, but I trust this person and other people in my life agree so I am holding my breath and jumping into the future. I am not sure it is the right path, and neither are they, but it is a path worth pursuing and with little other inspiration on the table I think fail or succeed this will be a defining choice for sure.

Clarity, Stability & Simplicity

Achieve- What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today. -#reverb10

Clarity, Stability & Simplicity

I will feel at peace and empowered if I achieve these related three things. I can't separate them because in my current situation they are irrevocably intertwined.

Pay and prepare for The Queen Sweep
Start using the Tools on Reverb10
Get back to daily walking
Clean off the dreaded window sill of books and junk
Organize the in and out pile
Write the letters that need writing
Decide between Yoga, Pilates and the Gym and do it somehow.
Make my dentist appointment (asap)
Commit to 1 calendar (not three!)
Embrace and write about my Word(s)

these are 10 things I can do a little on today- make some progress and then keep plugging away. I am filled with stress and worry- but hope and determination too.  

breathing is important.

Rhiannon For a Day (or a year)

New Name - Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why? -#rerverb10

I wrote a short piece for a workshop, about a winged woman named Rhiannon. If I could have a different name for a day, that would be the one I would pick. The story was powerful, came from someplace deep within me. She had multi colored feathers in her wings, and each one told a story and contained a special power. She would reveal them slowly, only to those she could really trust. I would love to don her mystery, majesty and power for a day. Introduce myself again especially to those I have known for years and share love and healing and promise with my kind supporters who have helped me survive this year. I need to find that story and re-read/ re-write it for 2011.

Shadows

ordinary moments - Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year? -#rerverb10

In the summer when it was soooo hot, (hottest year on record in Japan) I would have to walk my new puppy late late at night, or early early in the morning. There were many ordinary moments in those quite times. Just him and I out in the big city, with rarely another soul in site. But one that stands out is one where I saw shadows of my fears and strength at the same time. I was walking late and a little spooked and in my head worrying about what I was going to do to keep going. And I saw this amazing wrapped and struggling Aloe plant seemingly fighting with it's own shadows. I took a photo and wrote a bit about it. Somehow that image made clear that It was important to fight real fights but not poison my mind and heart with things I could not change. Fighting the fights that I can really make a difference in.

I can't find the photo now, which is a bummer- but maybe it is better that way. Stronger in my imagination that it would be in real life. The plant is still there on my morning walk but I have not seen it in quite the same light or shadow again.

Wine Adventure, Life Adventure

Soul Food What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?- #Reverb10

This one is easy- I opened my own little bistro this year, and it has been lovely. I have felt so good feeding friends and new comers and one of the really amazing things has been designing these new micro wine dinners. 3 wines 3 courses an intimate experience with 10-15 people. We did 8 of them last year, and we will do one a month in 2011. Each and everyone was memorable and amazing. My chefs worked together to really push the envelope and It was glorious seeing and tasting their efforts. The reviews were great. I have repeat customers and big fans of the whole program. We are calling it "My Table- Wine Adventures" and for 2011 we started a club for a bulk purchase of reservations! Very fun, and very enriching, creatively, and deliciously.

The Kid Is Alright.

Everything’s OK - What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead? -#reverb10

2010 did not lead itself to "everything's ok" moments. BUT one that stands out is when I had my friend who is doing a new  business to help declutter- come to my office and help me organize. Until she came i thought it was beyond me- BUT while she was there she just kind of guided me and the whole thing was mostly done in 4 hours!!! unwanted stuff gone, files set up, shelves organized... And the thing was she just had to gently nudge me- I knew what to do and was able to do it with just some friendly help. I had it in me... and I never thought that I did. Since organizing at home and other places is high on my 2011 agenda, this assurance has given me a ton of confidence. I feel like if I make the time and even get a little help I can do what needs to be done. Even better the office STAYED organized so I think with the right system 2011 could be the year I get it together, at least stuff and clutter wise. Here's hoping!

next we are starting the 8 days of

How to create your personal manifesto

 I will share as I go along. 

Snapshots

Photo – a present to yourself Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and [...] - #reverb10


This shot was taken by a friend Jack, when he and his wife took us to the redwoods. For me this signifies a lot of stuff. A BIG year, a lot of profound learning, an awe and sadness of things that were, things that were not, and everything in between. It is not all visible to others in this shot- But it is to me.

back to the future

Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?) (Author: Jenny Blake) #reverb10

Dear 48, thank goodness you listened to me and took things step by step in 2011. It was such an important time and I know it was hard after all the roller coasters of 2009-2010. Clarity, simplicity, and focus were the watch words of 2011 and it was great that you kept at it. I know it wasn't a perfect year and I know you struggled, especially with simplfying... but see how much it helped!? It made a lot more possible than you ever imagined. Glad you pushed yourself!

Dear 33- ups and downs are headed your way, but thank you for the chances you made possible moving to Tokyo and being open to new adventures. You will learn a lot, but you will never like Natto.